Wonder if I'll be 30 or 40 and still be as fragile as a young teenager when you get crushed?

Or maybe I should take my medicine more properly,

or maybe it's just autumn

or home sickness?

but it's not.

And how you in about 7 years never learned that quoting and writing words that should somehow reflect your feelings doesn't help at all.

So I'm glad that I'm starting to work 5 days a week, because then I can focus on something else.

Except I probably won't. Wonder if feeling this shattered leads to anything good, it never did before.

So I decided that I'm going to start training and cook again, like I mostly do when I get shot down and hit the ground.

Because you don't feel as bad when you're fit. True story.

Or just scream,

maybe I just need an extreme scream and punch someone in the face.

I probably need to punch someone or something because I'm going off on everyone and just talking to people makes me irritated. Not at work for some reason which is interesting but everyone else. Work is the only place I manage to be nice.

And I'm going over to obsessive mood, mostly about food. I'm looking up markets and butchers, recipes and gyms around, thinking about taking a walk even though it's not recommended in the middle of the night in Rialto or just doing some mat-work even though it's 01.00 but the floor is dirty. Why the hell do you have carpets here? They get nasty.
I'm going out tomorow,