deardublin -

Dear dark Dublin

I'm slowly getting more Irish. Like yesterday when I was like "Oh I haven't been drinking in ages"

"..It was Friday..4 days ago" so we went for a pint.

What's happening at the moment. Not sure, got 6 days at the Academy this week which is nice because I might actually...you know...NOT STARVE next week.

We got a new apartment which we will move into in 3 weeks. Lovely indeed.

It's much much bigger and closer to the city centre.

Downloading Propellerheads Reason because I'm listening to The Cures more industrial songs and got inspired.

Not that I haven't touched reason or my keyboard in like...4 years but whatevs.

From saturday to monday i Did nothing but sleep.

I literally just slept for three days. Not sure if I'm getting sick or not eating enough. So yesterday when working at the Ambassador was the first time I saw daylight in a while.

Today I'm back to no daylight. Slept until 17.30 but I'm working to 03.00 so... yeah.

AND IF ANYONE BACK HOME LOVES ME THEY CAN ALWAYS SEND ME SOME SWEDISH CHRISTMAS TREATS.

Knäck, kokostoppar, lussebullar, MOZARTSKULOR.

Just sayin'

Because I have to spend my christmas money on deposit for the room.

2011-11-30 @ 21:20:45
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Santas playland

Le promotion video for work haha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk1iXoLFAF8&feature=youtu.be

2011-11-24 @ 18:16:40
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Dear darling Dublin

Wah, there are plenty of things going on now.

Like it completely slipped my mind that we need to find a new place in the city centre but we are looking at an apartment today and tomorow so it should be fine.

Saturday we started our new job with the Parade. TV followed us for like 4 hours and Photographers for a few hours as well. I haven't seen the news yet but I've heard that it was in the newspaper.

I like my new job, I will definately loose weight as well haha.

Then Saturday I went to the Academy and saw Sam Lloyd and the band The Blanks.

Basically Ted Buckland and the Worthless Peons from the TV-show Scrubs. And I got to hug everyone of them ^_^ and they were really kind and warm. Kept saying "Hi pretty/sweety/beautiful/Honey" and stuff like that so it was a nice experience and the show was fantastic. Kept laughing so much that my cheek hurt like hell.

For some terrible reason I completely forgot my real camera and had to deal with my cellphone. Sadface.

I'm definately going to take proper pictures from The Ambassador. I'll see if I can find the video from the parade as well. There should be plenty. I'm mentally preparing myself for a crazy 4 weeks! Basically slept nothing for 3 days and got to sleep for 13 today. Ahhhhhh the relief.

2011-11-22 @ 18:27:36
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Dear dumb Dublin,

Arghhhhhh,

No?!

This week was gonna be hard enough without me having a cold/tonsillitis!

Tonight I'm gonna work 22.30-03.00

I'm getting up at 09.30 to walk around in a parade 11.00-13.00 and about 14.00 - don't know I'm gonna start my new job at the Ambassador. And then I work Sunday at the Academy, I'm gonna ask not to work at the Ambassador Sunday because I might actually die.

And I really can't not work because then I can't afford food or medicine for that matter.

Mlrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wanted to party saturday because it's probably the last saturday I'm off in a very very long time. I'm gonna go down to the pharmacy and get what the Irish call Lemsip and hope for the best.

I'm also drinking ridiculous amount of ginger lemon tea and feeling sorry for myself.

Sigh.

And I just want a hug D: but who wants to hug someone with Tonsillitis.

Well this is what I'm gonna look like tomorow. I'll probably end up eating half of the candy myself.

2011-11-18 @ 17:04:49
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Dear dazzling Dublin,

So today me and Eve did some shopping. It was supposed to be "things we really need" kind of shopping.

But no. I spended for example 15 Euro on Sushi, but to be fair...I haven't had sushi since Shanghai and it was good sushi.

Well I would say that the flanell shirt is for survival because I miss my collection back home. Also the peacock feather to wear in my hair is necessary. True story.

I saw a street musician who looked like Ronald Weasleys mother and was playing the harp - Only in Ireland.

Except for the shirt I also bought a sweater for work. A tanktop for work, a handbag I don't need, but the color is fascinating. I just wish that All the Leprechaun gold will fall over me. Or that someone ships my whole closet here for free. BEING POOR DOESN'T SUIT ME DAMN IT. I really really regret not taking better care of the money I earned during summer, I've counted on it so many times as well and still don't understand. Except for the laptop, the broken harddrive and when I kinda crashed into another car hehhhh. Didn't bring far enough clothes and I'm getting bored with wearing the same clothes all the time. It was alright in China because we were training all the time anyway and it's...alright I guess here as well because we're working during the night and sleeping during the day and now we're gonna wear elf suits anyway.

Seems like my entire family is on the run as well.

My sister just came back from Turkey. Dad left for Thailand. My mother left Norway for Croatia, Croatia for Spain and now Spain for Italy to my other sister who lives in Italy haha.

I'm not coming home for Christmas Eve, don't know what to do here to be honest. I know there's a christmas party at work, sounds like fun actually haha! And a dinner for all us people who don't have our family here.

Well the list of things I need to buy is still long:

Haircut

Oil-radiator so I don't die

Black boots (which are impossible to find)

Gloves

Hairdye

Black coat

(the expensive red coat I found that's so beautiful)

Black pants

Headphones

Swedish food from IKEA

Ghostbus tour ticket

Dublin Zoo ticket

I wanna go horseriding and rollerskating in a rink and I wanna wanna wannaaaa thank laaaaaaaurd I got a second job for 5 weeks.

2011-11-14 @ 20:53:04
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Dear damaged Dublin,

Why does everything hurt so darn bad. I've had some pretty intense shoulder and back pain now for a few weeks which gives me this feeling that someone is drilling a hole in my temples and I just popped my hip getting out of the sofa as any other 80 year old lady.
And then my retarded ankle and leg and knees and hamstrings.

Big dysfunctional mess of meat is what I am.

Sigh.

Me and Eve are both of 2 days now and we were planning to do some shopping (radiator) and perhaps swing by IKEA. It would be so much easier if we had a car. Because we can't carry the amount of food we want to buy, or like 10 liters of Julmust (Christmas must?!)

and meatballs, gingerbread cookies, saffron buns and all that.

GEEEEZ, headache is getting pretty intense D:, and yes I'm gonna whine about it because I've had it for several days now.

What we also will do is buy a milkshake from the place that has about 100 different flavors.

I went for a chocolate fudge brownie milkshake,

Eve was boring and chose Rasberry.

I think I might go for the apple pie with cinnamon milkshake next time,

just because.

Pain. Head. Need milkshake now.

2011-11-14 @ 02:31:36
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Dear dashing Dublin

Yesterday was a crazy night out as always haha. We started out drinking home and watching Space Jam then I went over to skyping with Peter which I don't know why I don't do more often :)

Then it was off into town and to Pantibar owned by the transvestite Panti.

I met a transgeder guy I've met before at The Mezz who's a funny fella, he did ask if I was transexual as well. No clue why but I thought it was hilarious (especially since I kina look like a tranny tonight)

Then everyone disappeared for some reason around midnight so we went off to our regular place The Mezz and had to fight off guys a lot more than usual. We just played the lesbian card which unfortunately this time gave us way too much attention and I had to threaten a guy who kept groping Evelina, not a long discussion.

"If you touch her again I will brake your fucking face"
"Well fuck you then" - very aggressive and for a second I thought that I might end up in a fight after all. But didn't thanks and he left us alone after that! Good thing I come off as mad becaue I never have to actually fight people ho bothers me :P

After that we met a guy from work who was just as pissed as we was hahaha and he said some interesting things about ..stuff.

Well we went home with his friend and drank Rum for a while and then we walked all the way home to Rialto because we couldn't find an ATM :), so we got some morning exercise since we got home at 6 in the morning.

Tonight I'm going out with Ben from Belfast and is getting my goth on since we're going to a gothclub. I think I did a good job for a non-goth. I would say it's more classy grown-up goth.

2011-11-12 @ 21:11:58
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Photo-Bomb from The Commitments, Olympia Theatre

Couldn't help myself. Took a second look of my pictures from the gig and found a few more.

As I said before, not very varied because I was standing on the side of the stage and couldn't more around.
(Geez I miss having a Press-pass during Gigs, what freedom)

Still...amazing...amazing gig.

2011-11-11 @ 17:34:40
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Second job as Santas elf in Winter Wonderland

So me and Evelina got our second job today. And it's a pretty darn interesting one.

First we weren't that keen on it because we worked to 03.00 and had to get up at 10.00 for the interview but geez when we got there.

Eve was before me then during my meeting I was shown around into the Winter Wonderland and WOAW. They are really giving it all, it's in Ambassador theatre on O'connel street and ..again WOAW.

19th november to 24th December they have a "Meet Santa" project that's not really for any profit. And they are rebuilding the entire inside. Painting the walls with art, lamps, glitter, slades, bouncing castles you know the whole deal. And they need 10 girls to dress up as elves and help the parents, look after the children and see so right kid gets to the right santa (there are like 5 santas, but they're a secret because of course there is only one santa)

So I mean..most awesome job I could get. My face was like this when I was shown around :O (I will definately get pictures because it was ...mindblowing) and you just got this crazy christmas feeling you had as a child.

A M A Z I N G.

So now me and Eve are mostly joking about what kind of Elf costume we will get.

Either it's a really dorky one (probably will be a dorky one)

Or it's a humiliating supersexy elf haha.

We are rooting for discrete sexy elf.

Or at least somehting in between haha. We will see on Tuesday hahaha.

Oh yeah also on the 19th of November we will get out on a parade with music, and Santa and slade for about 2 hours. How awesome is that?! :D

2011-11-10 @ 20:51:00
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Stars of the Commitments Dublin, Olympia Theatre

The Commitments was one of the most amazing music experiences I've ever had.

Goose bumps during 2 hours and genuine happiness.

Thanks Michael for tickets and pitband and thanks Thess for introducing me to the movie all those years ago.

Words can't describe...the..epicness. First bunch of pictures from the gig. They kinda look the same cause I couldn't really move around but yeah haha.

2011-11-10 @ 17:36:10
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Dear tiny world,

That odd moment when the world is really small.

People in Belfast knows people from Sweden that happens to be from Hässleholm who knows people I know.

Also it seems like Dejana is a close friend of an ex-boyfriends current girlfriend. They don't even live remotly close to me.

TOO

FUCKING

SMALL

WORD

It kinda freaks me out.

2011-11-09 @ 19:07:00
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Dear tiny world,

That odd moment when the world is really small.

People in Belfast knows people from Sweden that happens to be from Hässleholm who knows people I know.

Also it seems like Dejana is a close friend of an ex-boyfriends current girlfriend. They don't even live remotly close to me.

TOO

FUCKING

SMALL

WORD

It kinda freaks me out.

2011-11-09 @ 19:07:00
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Dear commited Dublin

I'm getting pumped up and psyched about The Commitments, yeaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Though I'm still thinking too much about things I shouldn't even give a shajt about becasue it's beneith me and I deserve better and all that people repeat to me you know. Wonder how I had so much Willpower in China. Like...I trained 2-3 weeks ago. It shouldn't be a problem for me to just, sweep the table to the side and do some crazy workout. Downloaded a program that's called "Insane" which scared me off.

5 months ago I wouldn't have been scared of training.

It's ridiculous.

But then again I was about to faint in Jervis Shopping Centre yesterday. So I guess I ate slightly better back then. I just need to hire a chinese lady to cook for me :P.

Me and Eve were planning to go to Dublin Meat Company though, you can buy loads of meat for a cheap price but we would have to take the bus to get there.

I'm gonna down a pint of water and then give the training a shot. At least 30 min cause I have to go into town soon as well.

2011-11-09 @ 17:21:43
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Dear dashing Dublin,

This week will be amazing! I am so looking forward to it! (Also next when Sam Lloyd aka. Ted Buckland is coming to the Academy)

Tomorow I am supposed to start bartender training but that might not happen...again but it will.. our manager is just really stressed and busy.

Otherwise I'm just gonna go shopping which will be nice anyway.

Wednesday I am going to see the Commitments for free - With Andrew Strong it's gonna be LEGENDARY! That's definately the best part of this week. For those who don't know. The Commitment is an epic movie from 1991 and the band is reunited and touring at the moment.

Thursday - Me and Evelina have a job interview at the Ambassador theatre, not sure what it's for but it's a christmas special during November and December.

Friday - I work Friday, not sure what's up because we are like 3 people working Friday which is kind of weird to be honest.

Saturday - I have my first saturday off since I started working and Ben from Belfast is coming up so we might go gothclubbin', which is very convenient because Evelina works saturday. So I'm really looking forward to that!

Sunday - I work Sunday so that's really nothing special and though I'm planning to be hungover I'm probably only working 5 hours anyway so it's gonna be fiiiiine!

2011-11-08 @ 03:22:22
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Dear Dublin.

I didn't get that much sleep but went upp pretty.. well early compared to other days.

Had a fairly productive day as well. Got up, walked to centra and bought some groceries, baked a chicken pie that looks awful but tastes amazing. Cleaned my room and living room, had a shower and watched a few episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch that I'm watching for some reason.

Didn't have time to see all of V for Vendetta which sucks since it's been my tradition for a few years to watch it on the 5th of November.

I feel slightly more stable at the moment and even though I bought cigarettes yesterday in a panic I can still control my smoking which have been one cigarette today.

Really wanted to train as well which I probably would have if I had a good nights sleep but maybe tomorow.

Still in this mood, that weird combination of unicorns and hatred: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pNCR3xubgU

2011-11-05 @ 19:14:57
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Dear Dublin

I'm going all Bipolar at the moment. Not that it's news for people who know me.

Good news today: Ted's band from Scrubs are coming to my work. I will get a picture with him and that's that.

Also I ended up buying a pack of fags to calm my nerves and got wrong change back, earned 13 euro for buying smokes - Universe doesn't want me to stop.

Also the taxi driver home gave me som education on the Irish History.

It's 5th of November: This calls for watching V for Vendetta.

And for the finish: One of the bouncers at my job said I was the best Cloakroom girl they ever had :), also the best looking but that's not relevant! Haha!

Bad news: Finished work early and wanted a fun night out but ended up going home having this awful knot in myb stomach.

Abandoned like a summercat.

Just wish things could go my way.

They say third time is a charm but it doesn't seem like it.

The third time just hurt a wee bit more because the third time made me geniunly happy.

What am I babbling on about?
Well the amount of times I've gotten heartbroken since I became single in the beginning of this year. It's like 1 per 2 month. That's bad flipping statistic.

Cheer the fuck up it was. I'm just gonna take a few pills and sleep on it I guess. Have to work the rest of the weekend AND ALL I WANTED WAS A FLIPPING PINT OF BULMERS!!!

2011-11-05 @ 03:09:07
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Dear Dublin,

My personal life is still messy but work is going fine.

Ended up having 35 hours this week which is basically full-time.
Though it's wed-sun again so no night life for my part. In case I don't get off work early.

It also looks like I might start bartraining tomorow, not sure though but it's definately coming closer.

The Academy also had a glamour model in tonight who I accidentaly asked for a lighter and she was like "I don't have one but you can use my cigarette" and then got all goofy when I realised who it was haha. She was really nice though. Georgia Salpa it was indeed.

So I mean work is nice and all, I just want a proper party night aaaaauuuuuuut! And my Irish account actually contains some dough now so it's all grand.

2011-11-03 @ 04:52:41
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Oh dear, late night thoughts. Again.

Don't know how my mental state or my coping with emotions turned to the standard I had when I was 13.

Wonder if I'll be 30 or 40 and still be as fragile as a young teenager when you get crushed?

Or maybe I should take my medicine more properly,

or maybe it's just autumn

or home sickness?

but it's not.

And how you in about 7 years never learned that quoting and writing words that should somehow reflect your feelings doesn't help at all.

So I'm glad that I'm starting to work 5 days a week, because then I can focus on something else.

Except I probably won't. Wonder if feeling this shattered leads to anything good, it never did before.

So I decided that I'm going to start training and cook again, like I mostly do when I get shot down and hit the ground.

Because you don't feel as bad when you're fit. True story.

Or just scream,

maybe I just need an extreme scream and punch someone in the face.

I probably need to punch someone or something because I'm going off on everyone and just talking to people makes me irritated. Not at work for some reason which is interesting but everyone else. Work is the only place I manage to be nice.

And I'm going over to obsessive mood, mostly about food. I'm looking up markets and butchers, recipes and gyms around, thinking about taking a walk even though it's not recommended in the middle of the night in Rialto or just doing some mat-work even though it's 01.00 but the floor is dirty. Why the hell do you have carpets here? They get nasty.
I'm going out tomorow,

Someone gets destroyed who therefore destroyes you and you destroy someone else after that and how do you get out of that annoying depraving circle of.. shattering?

I thought it would go away with turning 20, I guess I'm not done yet.

Stable as my 14 year old self. Something about Ireland.

2011-11-01 @ 01:55:49
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